(1) Listen calmly, compassionately, and nonjudgmentally – even if you don’t agree and even if what they say does not make sense to you. Give them your undivided attention.

(2) Hold space. Give the person an opportunity to fully express themselves, to share their thoughts, feelings and experiences – however weird they look to you – without fear of rejection, criticism, or forcible interference.

(3) Follow their lead about physical contact. For some people in crisis, physical contact can be very calming and comforting; for others, it is a signal of danger, leading to escalation. If your loved one hugs you or takes your hand, do the same in response. If they don’t, ask them, “Can I hug you?” “Can I stroke your head?” “Can I braid/comb/brush your hair?” Respect their response.

Alternatively, try to gently initiate physical contact and take a clue from their reaction. If they cringe or back away, withdraw and do not touch them again for a while. Don’t take it personally – this is not about you; this is about their unusual and fragile state.

(4) Normalize without dismissing distress. Unusual experiences like disembodied voices or overwhelming thoughts about one’s own death can make a person feel lonely, distressed, or scared. The more lonely and fearful the person feels, the worse their condition becomes.

Assure them that they are not alone and create a sense of safety. Tell them that many people hear voices, see visions, or go through a dark time when life seems not worth living.

Rather than “You have hallucinations, you are mentally ill,” try “We all see things that are not real every night. Sometimes, a dreaming-like state can happen when we are not asleep.”

(5) Validate feelings even when you challenge ideas. If your loved one makes claims that you are sure are not true, try something along the lines of, “You have such a rich imagination. It can be both a blessing and a curse. Creative people sometimes talk about their ‘dangerous gift’ – their imagination can carry them away and lead to scary and overwhelming images. Do you think this is how sci-fi authors may feel sometimes?”

If they respond positively, you may suggest that they find a creative outlet for their unusual ideas, such as writing or drawing.

If they respond negatively (“I don’t imagine it, I know the CIA planted a device in my head”), ask what would help them feel safe. In this way, you validate their feelings, but do not express support for claims that you do not agree with. Remember, your goal is to help your loved one, not to win an argument.

If they ask you directly whether you believe their claims, answer truthfully in a polite, non-confrontational way: “It’s hard for me to believe this. Personally, I don’t see how the CIA would plant a device in your head.”